High Achiever Burnout: 3 Hidden Signs You’re Stuck in the Frustration Cycle

For high achievers, burnout doesn't feel like burnout. It feels normal.

I just did a guest podcast interview about my burnout story, and I realized something: chaos was my baseline. High stress situations? That was my comfort zone.

If you think of a thermostat in your body and mind, mine was set to level 10 stress. Anytime I started to feel ease or joy, my subconscious would freak out. The rug's going to get pulled out. The other shoe's going to drop.

So I'd sabotage everything to get back to that familiar chaos.

I'd screw up a launch. Stop making sales calls. Be mean for no reason. At the end of the day, I'd think, "Why did I do that?" But it was self-sabotage putting me right back into level 10 stress, my temperature zone.

Even though that's not safe, it felt normal. It felt like home.

This is why people go back to toxic relationships. Why they stay in dead-end jobs. Because that's what they're used to. That's what feels safe.

But now that I've recognized my self-sabotaging patterns and my burnout triggers, I can catch them before they spiral. And I want to share them with you so you can do the same.

Burnout Trigger #1: Anger and Short Fuse

I get real short. Real snippy. Irritated by everything.

When I'm frustrated and someone asks me to do one more thing when I already have a massive to-do list, my immediate response is: "I'm already doing all this other stuff. What do you want from me?"

I see red. I want to throw my computer. Walk out the door. Just be done.

That's when I know my capacity is gone. Not that something's wrong with me. Not that I'm doing something wrong. My capacity is just gone.

These little anger fuses tell me: I need to take things off my plate. I need to ask for help. I need to take a break.

If I don't stop and address those little anger fuses, they turn into a full-on explosion. I mean rage. Yelling so loud I lose my voice.

That's not the person I want to be. But that's what happens when I just go, go, go without stopping.

Burnout Trigger #2: Working More to Escape Home Life

This one's going to sound insane.

When I start to get burnt out and overwhelmed in life, motherhood, parenting, relationships, marriage, all the household stuff, I will actually go work more.

I know it sounds crazy because that just leads to the first trigger. But work is my controlled chaos. My control zone. My safety zone.

I'm a workaholic. If I didn't create boundaries around work, I'd be that person working 24/7. I was that person.

When I start to get burnt out at home, dogs barking, cats everywhere, kids doing all the things, I'm like, "I have work to do." And I'll go to my office and work.

Or in the summer, I'll start projects. Let's buy a dog. Let's start a garden. Let's rearrange everything.

I add more projects as a distraction from the thing I'm currently overwhelmed and burnt out with.

Here's why we do this: that new thing you start? You control that.

You're replacing your overwhelm in the thing you don't want to face with something new and exciting that you feel like you can control.

But really, you're just adding more to your plate. More burnout. More overwhelm. Putting yourself right back into that level 10 stress zone because that's what your body and mind is used to.

We need to bring conscious awareness to why we're doing it, when we're doing it, how we're doing it, so we can change the pattern and start to slow down.

If you're somebody like me whose go-to is "I'll just hustle more, I'll just work more, I'm just gonna add more things for myself to do," maybe you should stop and ask yourself:

• What can I take off my plate?
• Who can I ask for help?
• What can I delegate?
• What actually needs to get done?
• When's the last time I took a damn minute for myself?

Burnout Trigger #3: "I Just Need a Vacation"

When I get really burnt out and overwhelmed, I'm like, "Oh, I just need a vacation. I just need a break. I just need to go to Mexico. I just need to go to Hawaii."

I'm totally serious when I say it. But I also know that if I just magically disappear for a week, that's not going to fix anything.

That rest period isn't going to fix a broken system. It isn't going to fix a broken structure.

As soon as you come back, you still have to face all those things that caused burnout in the first place.

That trigger phrase tells me I'm feeling all of the pressure, all of the things. And if I don't stop and take a break in that minute, if I don't create a system or process or get rid of something off my plate, I will end up doing it myself, then I'll get mad about it, then I'll have a short fuse, and the whole thing starts all over again.

We're not solving the burnout problem. We're emphasizing it.

How I Actually Handle Burnout Now

When I start to notice these things, I brain dump. I journal. I try to get things off my to-do list.

I close my computer and go for a walk or a drive. I do pattern interrupts.

I take a different route. Go to a coffee shop. Walk on my treadmill. Switch up my day so it disrupts my normal working pattern, forcing me to choose differently.

You start to notice different things when you do a pattern interrupt. Like taking a different drive home and noticing things you've never seen before.

I set up times for facials, massages, half days where I'm in my creative zone with no calls. Slow mornings where I journal and meditate.

I have a rhythm and routine to how I start my day. If I don't follow it, the burnout cycle can start pretty quickly.

Three Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now

1. What emotions show up first when you feel burnt out or overwhelmed?

Pay attention to your triggers. Mine are anger, adding more work, and fantasizing about vacations. Yours might be different.

2. Do you tighten up control or create space for yourself when you're under pressure?

Some people start controlling everything. Others ask for help and create space for the pressure.

3. Are you actually solving this problem or just escaping it?

Are you doing something to distract yourself? Adding something else to your plate? Or are you actively solving the burnout problem?

How to Actually Solve Burnout

Sleep. Drink enough water. Get exercise and sunlight. Ask for help. Meditate. Journal.

These things seem really simple and stupid, but they actually work. They work if you do them.

And ask for help. If you have a to-do list that's 10 miles long, you don't have to be the only person who does them.

I know for those of us who are hyper-independent "you can't tell me what to do" types, it's really hard to ask for help. It's a learned skill. An ability you have to find within yourself.

Think about how you're grounding yourself and setting yourself up for success.

Ask yourself: are you solving your burnout problem or just running away from it?

The Bottom Line

Burnout doesn't make you weak. You're not a failure if you're burning out. And you're not super awesome if you're burning out either.

It's just feedback.

Fix the problem. Don't just over-schedule yourself. Don't just keep pushing through it.

Fix the actual problem.

Because burnout will destroy your business, wreak havoc on your nervous system, and when your nervous system is out of whack, everything is out of whack. Your business. Your family. Your relationships. Everything.

Sustainability is what scales. Not the all-or-nothing hustle that leaves you broke and exhausted.

Listen to the full podcast episode on burnout: Apple Podcasts

Read more on Substack here. 

If this resonated, leave a review on Apple Podcasts and screenshot it. Tag me @salesmama.school or @sashadavis. I'm giving away Amazon gift cards this month ($100, $50, and $25).

Sausha Davis is the founder of Sales Mama School, helping women entrepreneurs scale without burning out through sustainable systems and authentic sales strategies.