Making Money Is Easy. Keeping It? That's the Real Work.

I had the most uncomfortable call with my publisher this week.

Heart racing. Chest tight. That frog-in-your-throat feeling you get right before a panic attack.

Not because anything was going wrong. But because I was facing one of my biggest money blocks head-on.

Here's the thing: I'm really good at making money. Always have been.

I've made people millions of dollars. I've closed over $15 million in high-ticket sales throughout my career. I can walk into a sales conversation and know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to close.

But keeping money? That's where I've struggled.

And sitting on that call with my publisher, feeling my chest tighten as we talked about payment plans and book advances and royalties, I finally understood why.

The Pattern I Didn't Know I Was Carrying

It comes down to safety.

My nervous system learned early on that every time something was given to me, it came with conditions. Or it could be taken away when someone got mad.

"Here's $20... but if I get mad at you this weekend, you owe me $20."

"I'm gonna buy you this thing... but as soon as I get upset with you, you have to give it back."

So my body learned: receiving isn't safe.

And as an adult, that pattern shows up like this:

"I'm gonna make this money... but then something's gonna happen and I'm gonna lose it. So instead of losing it, I'm gonna find a way to spend it. That way I'm in control of how it leaves, rather than waiting for someone to take it from me."

Right back to paycheck-to-paycheck. Even when the paychecks are big.

When Chaos Feels Safer Than Calm

Here's what most people don't understand about generational trauma and money blocks:

Your nervous system doesn't care about logic.

Consciously, I know rest is good. I know I can work smarter, not harder. I know that I don't have to earn every dollar through suffering.

But my body? My body reacts differently.

When things are going well, when money is flowing easily, when I'm not in hustle mode, my nervous system screams: DANGER.

When things are chaotic, when I'm overworking, when stress is high, my body goes: "Ah yes, this is normal. This is safe."

It's completely backwards. But if you grew up in an environment where chaos was the norm, where yelling and stress and unpredictability were just Tuesday, you learned that chaos equals safety.

So you unconsciously create that chaos as an adult. You self-sabotage. You pick the hard path. You burn yourself out. Not because you're broken, but because your nervous system is trying to protect you by putting you back in what feels familiar.

The Games I Play With Myself

I hide money from myself.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I do.

I have multiple bank accounts for different purposes. Each one has a "safety threshold," a dollar amount that feels okay for me to see in that account.

When I look at one account with $X in it, I feel fine. My shoulders relax. My jaw unclenches.

But if I looked at all my accounts combined and saw the total? My brain would spiral into: "Holy shit, somebody's gonna come after me. They're gonna take everything. They're gonna burn my house down and take my kids."

Those are real fears that run through my mind when I think about holding large amounts of money.

So I split it up. I hide it from myself until I can learn to feel safe with it.

My goal this year is to get to the point where I can look at seven figures, eight figures, and beyond without my nervous system freaking out. Where I can hold wealth without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You Can't Out-Strategy a Nervous System Issue

This is where I see so many entrepreneurs miss the mark.

They think: "I just need better strategy. I need to make more money. I need to work harder."

Great. Make all the money you want.

But if you don't feel safe holding it, if you don't feel safe receiving it, if your body is still operating from old patterns that say "money leaves as fast as it comes," it will disappear.

Ask me how I know.

Strategy alone won't fix this. You need the mindset work. The somatic work. The spiritual work. The nervous system regulation.

You need to become aware of the pattern, and then you need to actively choose different.

Breaking the Cycle in Real Time

Awareness is the first step. But insight alone doesn't change behavior.

You have to do the work.

For me, that looks like:

• Speaking openly about this (which is terrifying and uncomfortable)
• Practicing receiving without immediately giving back
• Saying "thank you" instead of deflecting compliments
• Sitting with the discomfort of making money easily
• Learning to feel safe when things are calm

I'm doing this work right now as I write my book. As I scale toward seven figures. As I step into more visibility and put myself out there in bigger ways.

And let me tell you, I forgot how uncomfortable growth is.

Every belief gets challenged. Every old identity gets questioned. Every "I'm a _____ type of person" statement gets tested.

But I'm doing it because I refuse to pass these patterns on to my kids.

Your Calm Is Part of Your Legacy

Here's what I want you to understand:

Breaking these patterns isn't just about money.

It's about love. Acceptance. Abundance. Emotional safety. Regulation. Freedom.

Your kids learn from how you respond, not from what you say.

It's not monkey say, it's monkey do.

Your calm, your confidence, your clarity? That's part of their inheritance too. Not just the money you leave behind.

So I'm asking you:

What pattern stops with you?

What are you going to start instead?

-Sausha 

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